


Guilt

by EternallyEC



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Light Angst, Post-Episode FIx It, Pre-Relationship, Tori Gets Stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: Feeling guilty, Jade takes a woozy Tori home with her after the end of Tori Gets Stuck. Can such a small gesture really change very much?- OR -A post-episode fix-it for Tori Gets Stuck because I have a complicated relationship with that one.
Relationships: Tori Vega & Jade West, Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> You guys. I don't even know where this came from. I opened up Google Drive to work on an entirely different idea and then, next thing I knew, this was just pouring out. 
> 
> This episode is both a favorite and also almost loathed of mine. I find it hilarious and there's a lot of stuff I love in it, but I also can never reconcile this Jade with most other versions. So, I wanted to try to explore and see where her motivations come from and this ended up happening. 
> 
> Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

_ Fuck.  _

Jade couldn’t deny the guilt twisting in her stomach as she watched Tori stumble around the stage, looking like she might pass out at any moment. Her lines, when delivered, were nonsensical and out of order and Jade’s stomach twists even more when she collapsed onto the wheel while mumbling another wrong one. 

She does her best to play it off as anger when Sikowitz tells her she’s not going to play the lead, even going so far as to move out of the way and let Tori fall while taking Cat down with her, but she can’t hide the truth from herself. And so, as soon as the show’s finished, she takes Trina to the side. 

“I’m taking Vega to my place,” she tells her with a glower. 

“I don’t  _ think  _ so, Jade,” Trina tells her, glaring right back at her. “You sent her bush daisies the other day! Why would I let you take my baby sister home with you?” She lets out another rasping cough that makes Jade grimace and take a step back. 

“Because you’re sick and your parents are shit, aren’t they,” she says more than asks, her pierced eyebrow slowly raising as Trina gives her a dumbfounded look. “Well, aren’t they?” 

“That’s none of your business, you--you gank,” she sputters, but Jade just smirks, knowing she’s right. 

“I’m not playing the lead, so I don’t have any reason to do anything else to her,” she says, rolling her eyes. “And even if I wanted to, I could have just taken her and not said anything.” 

“Well…” Trina hesitates, but Jade can tell she has her. “Fine,” she finally says, coughing again. “But you better not hurt her,” she snarls, and Jade can’t help but smirk, appreciating her fire despite herself. 

With a nod, she spins on her heel and returns backstage. Cat and Tori are sitting on a hospital bed and Jade’s eyebrow quirks up again, wondering what show had used a prop like  _ that _ . 

_ Not important, Jade. _

Right, she agrees with herself, shaking her head. What’s important is that the two girls are cuddled up together and one of them had the foresight to put up the bed rail on Tori’s side so that when she inevitably tries to roll off the bed, there’s a barrier in place to stop her. 

“Let’s go, Vega,” she barks, earning a frightened squeak from Cat and a mumbled, “Huh?” from the girl in question. “I said let’s go. I’m taking you home,” she tells her, a lie by omission. She is taking her home, after all, it’s not her problem if Vega misinterprets her words. 

“Jade?” Tori mumbles, whining softly when Cat untucks herself and scurries away at a sharp look from Jade. “Where’s Trina?” 

“She’s already gone,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Now come on, I don’t have all night!” 

Tori hums softly and tries to stand, whining again when she hits her arm on the railing. “Owww,” she whines yet again, her lower lip sticking out petulantly as she rubs at her sore arm. 

“Jesus, Vega,” she growls, marching over to the bed and putting the railing down. “Just stand up already.”

Tori does, but she’s wobbly and her hand immediately goes to Jade’s shoulder for balance. She bristles at the touch but it’s more out of muscle memory than instinct. Jade doesn’t mind Tori touching her if she’s honest with herself, which she makes a point to rarely be. 

“Sorry,” Tori immediately apologizes, becoming slightly more alert and definitely agitated as her eyes widen. “I know you don’t like to be touched, Jade, I didn’t mean to--” 

She’s cut off by her own yelp as she wobbles on still unsteady feet and she would have fallen a second time that night if Jade’s arm hadn’t snaked around her waist, her other hand going to Tori’s hip to catch her and hold her firmly up. 

Jade’s mind is whirling as she thinks about the apology for touching her. Tori’s noticed that she doesn’t like to be touched and she’d rather fall and hurt herself again than to do it. 

Suddenly, the guilt in her stomach feels a lot heavier and she sighs as Tori starts to struggle against her. 

“Relax, Vega, it’s fine,” she says bluntly, rolling her eyes when she can  _ feel  _ the weight of her gaze on her. 

“Really?” she asks tentatively, and Jade sighs again as she lets her gaze meet Vega’s. Something in her eyes must convince the other girl because she smiles and wraps her arm around Jade’s to help regain more of her balance. 

“Now come on, let’s get out of here,” Jade tells her and Tori nods. Jade doesn’t pull away much, just enough to walk, and she hates the way Vega’s smile widens as she leans on her and lets Jade guide her to the car. 

~ 

“This isn’t the way to my house, Jade,” Tori frowns, clearly puzzled as she watches their surroundings pass. 

“We’re not going to your house,  _ Tori _ ,” she bites off. “We’re going to mine.” 

Tori jumps, her head hitting the window and she whines fucking  _ again _ . Jade nearly wants to kill her again after all the whining she’s doing, but her fucking conscience won’t let her. She hadn’t even known she had the damn thing but now it just keeps reminding her that she’s the reason Tori’s in such a state anyway, and she’s been arguing with it the entire drive home. 

_ I only took one pint of blood! Two wouldn’t have messed her up this bad, it’s not my fault Robbie’s an idiot.  _

_ But if you hadn’t have taken the first pint, none of it would have happened.  _

“Shut  _ up _ ,” she grumbles, only realizing she’d said it aloud when Tori gave her a frightened look. “Not you,” she sighs, shaking her head. “Your head okay, Vega?” she asks, and she can’t blame Tori for the way her eyes widen in surprise. 

“Yeah,” she says softly, still staring at Jade as though she’s trying to figure her out, and who could blame her? She  _ had  _ spent the last week trying to get the other girl seriously injured and for what? A leading role in a stupid play? She’d had dozens of those, more than enough to make up for losing one. 

But no, the play hadn’t been the issue at all, she frowns. The issue had been losing out to Tori fucking Vega,  _ again _ . She knew that, not that she cared to admit it. Something about the other girl just drove her fucking insane and drove her to do anything she could to prove that she was better than her. 

God, was she fucked up. 

“Jade, why are we going to your house?” Tori asks quietly after a few more minutes. 

“Because it’s my fault you’re in this mess,” she shrugs, her eyes widening as the words just flew out of her mouth. Shit. She had  _ not  _ meant to say that. 

Tori’s eyebrows furrow and she sits up, giving Jade an indecipherable look. “What do you mean it’s your fault?” she asks, and Jade almost grins at the anger she can hear in her voice. 

“I  _ may  _ have misplaced your first donation,” she says, pulling onto the shoulder and putting the car in park. This is not a conversation she should have while driving. 

“JADE!” 

And there it is. Jade can’t help but smirk as her eyes take in Tori’s heated face, the fury written all over it and her clenched fists making her hotter than ever. 

Whoa, wait,  _ what?  _

She fake-coughs to cover her internal freak-out before she shrugs and goes on like she never thought about how hot Tori Vega was at all. Must have been some kind of brain glitch. 

“I didn’t want you to make it to the show, so I misplaced the blood,” she tells her, resisting the urge to shrug. Something about the way Tori is looking at her just tells her it would be a bad idea. It’s self-preservation,  _ not  _ intimidation or fear, she tells herself firmly. “I didn’t know Robbie would be an idiot and--”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Tori scowls, her fists clenching and unclenching and now Jade’s pretty sure she’s staring at her throat. She swallows at the thought, seriously unnerved by how much she likes the idea of having Vega’s hands around her throat, even like this. “ _ You’re  _ the reason that I had to have blood taken three times, Jade? Do you know how dangerous that is? Do you even  _ care  _ that you put Robbie’s life at risk?” 

“Tori--”

“Don’t Tori me!” she snaps, slapping Jade’s hand away as she tries to reach for her. “Is that why we’re going to your house, Jade? So you can finish the job?”

_ Jesus, are all Vegas this fucking paranoid?  _

Not that Jade can blame her exactly, not after this past week. Instead, she sighs and rolls her eyes. “Vega, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t have told anyone that I was bringing you home with me.” 

“How do I know you did?” she asks suspiciously, and Jade can’t help but smirk. 

“Call your sister.”

And with that, she starts driving again, barely listening as Tori pulls out her Pearphone and does talk with Trina. 

They’re pulling into the driveway of Jade’s house when Tori hangs up, doing nothing but staring at Jade as she parks and gets out. Jade sighs and opens her door, helping her out. Whatever had sparked in her earlier had clearly died out, leaving Tori as wobbly as she had been at school. 

Putting an arm around her, Jade let her lean against her as she led the way up the steps and unlocked the door. Taking Vega downstairs to her room, she hesitates before helping her onto the bed. 

She’s never brought anyone but Beck into her private sanctum before and now that Tori’s here, she’s a little freaked out about how okay with it she is because it’s  _ Tori _ . 

Whatever that means. 

“Stay here,” she orders before disappearing upstairs into the kitchen. Rummaging through the refrigerator for leftovers, she soon finds a few beef patties and heats them up while pouring a glass of orange juice and assembling a variety of condiments, unsure of how Tori eats her burgers. 

When the patties are done and plated, she puts everything on a TV tray and carefully carries it downstairs… where Vega has fallen over backwards on her bed and is currently snoring. 

Fuck. 

“Vega,” Jade whispers, setting the tray down on her nightstand and poking her side, receiving only a low whine in response. “Vega!” she yells, catching Tori when she jumps, shielding her head from the headboard with her arm. 

“What?!” she growls, and Jade blinks at the tugging in her gut that’s definitely not guilt anymore. 

Pushing  _ that  _ aside, she rolls her eyes and nods at the TV tray. “You need to eat. It’ll help.” 

“Did you poison it?” Tori grumbles, but Jade knows it’s meaningless when she immediately takes the tray and starts to assemble her burgers. Her nose crinkles at the sight of the orange juice and Jade cuts in before she can ask. 

“Orange juice is supposed to be good after giving blood,” she tells her, keeping her face carefully blank. 

Of course, Tori sees right through her, giving her a soft smile. “You looked that up?” she asks quietly, taking a sip as her eyes stay trained on Jade. 

“Yeah, so?” Jade snaps, daring her to say more.

But Tori’s smile just widens until it just  _ has  _ to hurt her face to smile like that and keeps her mouth shut. 

She quickly devours the burgers and drinks the entire glass of orange juice like there’s no tomorrow, denying Jade’s requests for more. So instead, Jade throws some night clothes on the bed.

“You good to get changed by yourself, Vega?” she asks, rolling her eyes when Vega smiles again. Fuck, does this girl know any other facial expression? she snarks to herself, trying to ignore the way her smile made her stomach flutter. 

“Jade?” she asks softly. 

Fuck. “Yeah, Vega?” 

“Why did you do it?” Her voice is small and wavering and Jade doesn’t even have to look at her to know that there are tears in her eyes.  _ Fuck.  _

“Do what?” she asks, desperate for just a minute to think. 

“Any of it,” she sighs, and then a hand is hesitantly touching her arm. “I just want to be your friend, Jade. We don’t have to compete and hurt each other all the time.” 

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be your friend,” Jade snaps back, tensing as soon as the words are out. 

_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. _

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m going to take this upstairs--”

“No, you’re not,” Tori cuts her off, and Jade grunts as she’s forcibly pulled down by her shirt sleeve, landing on her back and staring up at Tori’s determined expression. “You’re going to tell me what you meant by that because it’s the most honest thing you’ve said to me since you showed up at my house with a broken kite.” 

_ Fuck, she remembers that? _

_ Of course she remembers that, you idiot. It’s the only time you’ve ever been nice to her!  _

Jade groans, rubbing her eyes as a headache starts to form from the voices in her fucking head and their arguements. 

“Jade,” Tori whispers, gently tugging her hands away from her face. “Please, just tell me,” she begs, and that’s what does it. 

“I’m a gank,” Jade shrugs, trying to pretend like she doesn’t care that she’s talking to Vega like this or that Tori’s still holding onto her hand. “My parents always made sure I knew it, so I decided to be the biggest gank I could be since they were so sure about it.” 

Without even thinking about it, Jade interlocks her fingers with Tori’s. “You’re too fucking good to be friends with me, Vega. I sent you bush daisies after finding out you were allergic to them,” she insists, but Tori just keeps looking at her with a sad smile. There’s no pity to be found in her eyes though, and that’s what lets Jade continue. 

“I’ve pushed you away and I’ve screamed at you and tried my best to get you to go away, but you won’t,” she groans. “You won’t fucking go, Tori, why won’t you fucking go?” 

“Because you let me see the real you once,” she answers softly, and Jade freezes. “You showed up at my house with a broken kite and, by the way Jade, for a writer, that was a really cliche metaphor,” she adds, grinning when Jade snorts. 

“Ever since then, I’ve known there was a girl worth fighting for underneath all of your sharp edges. You’re not the monster you think you are, you know. If you were, you wouldn’t have looked up to find out what would help me feel better. You wouldn’t have made them for me; hell, you wouldn’t have brought me home at all.” 

Jade blinks up at her, unable to believe what she’s hearing. “Tori. I could have killed you tonight.”

And then Tori’s smile is as bright as Jade’s ever seen it, making her wrack her brain for what she’d said that could have caused it. “You called me Tori,” she mumbles, ducking her head to hide it. 

Reaching out slowly, Jade cups Tori’s chin and lifts her face to look at her again. She’s almost  _ glowing _ and the sight threatens to take her breath away. 

“Fine,” she sighs, knowing when she’s beaten. “We’re friends, okay? Now can you go get dressed so that we can sleep?” 

“Okay,” Tori grins, carefully standing up and holding onto the nightstand until she’s steady. “But first,” and oh god, Jade  _ knows  _ that voice and there’s  _ no way _ \--

“You gotta give me a hug!” 

_ Fuck.  _

Jade groans and tries to deny her, but then Tori is grabbing her hands and pulling her up and staring at her. Hope is written all over her face and as much as Jade’s every instinct is screaming at her not to do it, that she’ll just end up hurt, she can’t be the one to wipe that hope away and leave devastation in its place. 

Not this time, maybe not ever again.

So when Tori repeats her words, Jade groans and rolls her eyes but she steps into the embrace, hugging her back tightly but carefully. 

As she watches Tori disappear into the bathroom, she wonders what this means, what any of it does. But then she hears Tori singing quietly to herself as she changes and she can’t find it in herself to care. 


End file.
